I love love love this Sister’s (Terri Savelle Foy) writings. Naw, she’s not mocha, but her words are on pt. Hope u enjoy….

Your body language is largely responsible for the impression someone has of you. After receiving my minor from Texas Tech University in Communication Studies, I began to really notice body language…in myself and in other people. It’s so interesting to study.

What I learned is that 93% of the way we communicate is done through body language…non-verbally. You are saying so much without ever opening your mouth! In fact, it has been proven that most rapists and kidnappers look for people who appear timid and insecure. How do they know? In the way they carry themselves.

Some of the signals of an insecure person include:
* Limp, weak handshake
* Weak, soft voice
* Dropping head and looking down
* Poor, stooped posture (shoulders slumped)
* Folded arms, crossed legs,
* Hair covering the face
* Rubbing hair or back of neck
* Touching or covering parts of your face
* Lack of eye contact while speaking with others, etc.

There are many other signs that communicate insecurity non-verbally, but the point is: the way we appear on the outside is really a reflection of how we feel about ourselves on the inside. I want you to know that Jesus paid the price for your valuable life by hanging His head down in shame on that Cross — so that yours could be lifted up. You have every reason to pull your shoulders back, hold your head up high and confidently go before God as his precious child.

Don’t let Satan take advantage of you or even think that he has a chance in destroying your confidence in who you are in Christ. Practice carrying yourself like the child of God you are! Carry yourself with dignity and purpose! You’re forgiven. You’re valuable. You’re loved by Your Heavenly Father.

If you think highly of yourself and your calling, you carry yourself that way! Pull your shoulders back right now. Practice good posture. You’ll appear and feel more confident. And you have every right to be confident!

Hebrews 10:35 — “Do not throw away your CONFIDENCE …it will be greatly rewarded.”



I was thinking the other day, it’s not easy to find Christians who ‘get’ mental illness. When I was going through the worst of bulimia, I used to wonder “Maybe It’s Just Me” and  “Maybe I’m Crazy”. Cuz shoot, it seemed like everybody around me was quoting scriptures and cheesing for Jesus.  Meanwhile I was crying myself to sleep, fasting and praying for deliverance, and wishing and hoping to become ‘normal’.  Wondering ‘What’s wrong with me?’ Have u ever been there??

The TRUTH absolutely didn’t come overnight or even over 100 nights, but I can tell u this. The same God that heals and delivers from physical pain can set folk free from emotional drama too. Oh happy day, when I read these…

3 John 2: Beloved, I wish above all things that you would prosper and be in health EVEN AS your SOUL (mind, will and emotions) prospers

Colossians 2:10: And you are COMPLETE (whole) in Him…

2 Timothy 1:7: For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but power, love, and a SOUND (well balanced, discipline) MIND

Oh Boy…Church folk, your best friend, and Big Mama may not believe in ’emotional or mental pain’ but God does!!  And He’s already got a way out. Just ask Him what to do. And wait to hear His voice. If He could hear my halfway trusting, ‘I hope this works’ self, I know He can hear you too.

Ike and Tina 101

According to the Natl Coalition on Domestic Violence, did you know that…

  • 25% of ALL women will experience domestic violence in their lifetime 
  • 1.3 million women will be victims of physical assault by an intimate partner this year 

And specifically amongst Sisters, did you know that 7% of Black Women reported being stalked, over 18% reported a past rape and 52% have been physically assaulted???

Or that though we’re only 8% of the US population, in 2005 we accounted for 22% of ALL intimate partner homicide. (http://www.idvaac.org/press/factsheet.html)

 In other words, for every other Sister you know, love, or can’t stand..there’s a strong possibility that she’s currently in or has already experienced domestic violence.

Here’s what got me thinking ’bout this. There I was eating shrimp with a beautiful, single mother – educated and together –  and she drops this tale of severe marital abuse with black eyes, ugly words and all. Then there’s another friend who can pray u outta hell but who clued me in on the early days of violence and hell in her marriage. Both are dandy now – whole, healed, and delivered.  And NOBODY can look at either women and tell where they’ve been. 

But here’s the catch…most folk didn’t know while they were in it!  One got ‘pastoral’ advice to have more sex. The other didn’t know where to turn.  So…how many other Sisters are just like that??  Or maybe its even you

Domestic violence can be physical, emotional, sexual, economical, or verbal. What it looks like: http://www.michigan.gov/msp/0,1607,7-123-1589_1711_4577—,00.html

Why me?: http://helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm

How to help a friend (when she can’t just ‘walk away): http://www.tinatessina.com/interventions.html

How to help yourself: http://www.umd.umich.edu/108301/

And finally….an awesome clip from Bishop TD Jakes on what one woman did to get free (‘A Satisfied Woman’): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qAeFlrKa6CU

Can I just be real ya’ll?? It’s time to let Black Superwoman go. Let the chick die a quick death.  I don’t know about you, but I’m so tired of pretending that (pick one: I’ve got it together, I know what I’m doing, I enjoy being all things to all people, I feel really really cute etc). Cuz (sigh) I don’t and I’m not. How about you?

Don’t get me wrong, some days, you can’t tell this Sister NOTHING. When the do is done, I’m a bad mamajama and I know it!! Thank. You.Very. Much.  But lately, Holy Ghost has been doing this thing in me….keeps confronting me…with this insecurity in me.

I saw a lady minister on tv and remember thinking to myself, “Oooohhh, her voice is annoying. I’m not listening to her”.  Haha, well isn’t God funny. A few days later, I walked past a book at Borders that stopped me cold…”So Long Insecurity, You’ve been a Bad Friend to Us”. You know it was the same lady, right? Mrs Beth Moore.  The first few pgs, tripped me out.  Tried hard not to boo hoo, but it was time. It was past time to deal with this.  I read and cried and wiped snot for an entire weekend, realizing the root of so much pain. Yeah, I’m free from bulimia, severe depression, and my suicide back-up plan, but security?? self confidence?? Been pretty elusive.

Like some of you, I’ve heard folks teach plenty of times about ‘seeing you the way God does, having a godly self-image, love yourself, embrace thy beauty,blah blah’.  But there’s something about God’s timing and allowing Holy Ghost to really be Counselor and your Guide outta pain (John 16:7,13). I didn’t go to Borders looking for healing and I won’t front like I’m ‘there’ (Not!!).  But at least I know now what I’m facing.  This is bigger than low self esteem and a negative self image. We’re talking about NEVER feeling good enuf, smart enuf, pretty enuf, or enuf of whatever I’m ‘sposed to be. 

Can’t say that I’m reeking with great faith yet. But I do know that whenever God starts a work, He promised to finish it (Phil 1:6).

What about you? Where are you in your journey?